2 Oct 2008, 3:55pm
Politics and politicians
by admin

The Mortgage BYOB Program

America rejoice! I have hit upon the SOLUTION to all our financial problems!

Introducing: the Mortgage Buy Your Own Back Program!!!!

Mortgagees of America Unite! We can save the economy of the Nation and indeed the Entire World!

The problem, as explained by the Pundits of Wall Street, is that homeowners with mortgages have ruined the credit market. Our mortgages aren’t worth the paper they are written on. The poor, innocent investment banks of New York City and the above-reproach, integrity-managed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have been snookered into buying our bundled mortgages, never suspecting that they are worthless. And now those beneficent and pure institutions are belly-up because they hold that trash paper.

But instead of the US Treasury purchasing that junk, I hereby offer to buy back my own mortgage for ten cents on the dollar!

That’s right, America. Don’t get snookered again. Don’t spend good money chasing bad. You don’t have to buy my worthless mortgage; I will do it myself. And instead of Uncle Sam, NYC, Freddie, and Fannie getting NOTHING AT ALL, I magnanimously offer the grand sum of TEN CENTS ON THE DOLLAR for my own mortgage.

It’s a heavy sacrifice on my part, but as a good and patriotic American I am willing to bear that burden. Furthermore, I call upon all good and patriotic mortgagees of America to join me in SAVING THE ECONOMY FROM TOTAL COLLAPSE.

Please join me in this worthiest of causes. Help to RESCUE AMERICA!!!

Call your Congressperson right now. Tell him, her, or it that you too are willing to give ten cents on the dollar for your otherwise worthless mortgage and thereby lift America out of this terrible crisis and avert a Great Depression! They should, indeed MUST, sign on the Mortgage BYOB Program and enact the enabling legislation TODAY, before it’s too late.

Happy days are here again!!!!

2 Oct 2008, 4:17pm
by Tadpole


My God, it’s amazing! And so simple and obvious! Sounds like a great plan to me – Mike D. for Czar of the Universe!

2 Oct 2008, 4:27pm
by Greg B


MIKE FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

Sarahcuda should resign from the McBama campaign and sign on as Mike’s VP!!! A winning ticket!!

Mike, you are right on, and I’ll do my patriotic duty and buy my mortgage back for 20 cents on the dollar. Does that make me more patriotic than you?

If the government is expecting to make a profit off these securities then why not let investors have a chance at them for the same price? From what I understand, there is something like THREE TRILLION DOLLARS in money market and savings accounts, not in the stock market. I bet these folks would love to invest in a sure thing. I would.

This bailout/rescue bill is a total scam on the American public. Get your wallet out folks, Mr. Paulson needs a loan. Just a few hundred billion. And our pork-eating senators just sold the farm.

I wonder when the gummit is going to start selling the “public lands” to the BINGOs for cents on the dollar. That’s next…

Karl Marx and Osama bin Laden are laughing their asses off!

2 Oct 2008, 5:03pm
by Mike


It is with the deepest humility that I accept your compliments and agree to serve as President, Czar, or whatever. As long as I am in charge. And then, baby, watch the heads roll!

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